By John Anderson
I was my mom’s caregiver for the last two years, until her passing in March 2019. Even though Mom has gone home to be with the Lord, some aspects of her life here as a living, breathing person are still left to deal with.
Specifically, I am speaking about her legal affairs, her trust and will, and the administration of her estate. I have been part of an Alzheimer’s-Dementia support group at my home church and it has been an enormous blessing to share with other believers who have gone through, or are still going through, the process of being a caregiver. I and my family would not have the peace we have today if I had not been part of this group, being supported and blessed along the way.
When my mom did pass, having her legal affairs prepared ahead of time was a huge relief. To start with, the hospital where Mom was being cared for after she had her stroke requested an Advanced Directive. I had sent that document to one of her team of doctors who had it scanned in as part of her medical records. Multiple doctors and medical staff were asking for that during Mom’s care and it was a relief to know that it was done, and they had access to it.
With Mom’s stroke and subsequent passing, I had no idea what to do next in terms of her legal affairs. In the process of speaking with a friend who is a real estate broker, he suggested I speak with a family law attorney to make sure the next steps were done correctly. He and his family had been through this process the year prior to my mom’s passing, and he was stressing the importance of having proper legal guidance. As it turned out, he was absolutely correct. After meeting with a local attorney, I was made aware of several things that needed to be taken care of based on legal requirements, that the trustee (me in this case) was tasked with getting done. Each trust or will may have differences based on the Grantor’s desires, if multiple siblings are involved, if there is real estate involved, property to be distributed, final bills, etc. and professional advice is crucial.
Even though my mom had her will and trust complete, to my surprise, the attorney informed me that her will needed to be filed with probate court within 30 days of my mom’s passing. This is something I would have missed for sure if I were trying to complete this on my own. I also would not have known that I needed to make sure the beneficiaries were notified within a certain time frame, and my assumptions on how to distribute the funds after the sale of mom’s house were also incorrect. This would not only have been illegal; it could have caused problems for me as the trustee if any of the beneficiaries had decided to complain.
My attorney also suggested that the best possible action to take as a trustee was to make sure I could show that I was taking my responsibilities seriously by having professional advice and/or service where needed to protect myself against beneficiary claims. He explained that if I was called into court by a beneficiary, having experts take care of the needed services would show the court I had done my due diligence in performing my duties. For us, some of these services were not cheap, but it was well worth having them done properly for my peace of mind. My list of professionals was small, though. It included a family law attorney for trust administration, an accountant/tax preparer for getting my mom’s taxes completed for the year prior to her passing and then for the year she passed, and finally a real estate broker to help get the house sold.
The list of professionals needed and tasks required will vary from case to case. For example, a financial advisor for investing funds may be needed. The important thing is to start the process early and be prepared. Depending on the situation, multiple copies of the Death Certificate will be needed, as well as a copy of the will and trust documents, and identification to prove that you are the trustee to the various agencies you may end up working with.
Depending on your needs, it may be a long process before you get everything completed, but have faith, there is light at the end of the tunnel. With proper preparation for you and your loved one, most of the tasks will be taken care of in a smooth and efficient manner.
Review a related testimony - Education Is the Key to Good Care Management
About the John Anderson: John was a member of the Alzheimer’s-Dementia Ministry for several years.